Hell Has Been Raised

 If my love and affection didn't come across from my past post for the radically awesome brand, UNIF, here is a MIB to confirm it.  The moment my eyes came across these Hellraiser Flats, I knew that we were meant to be together.  The toughness, the security, the outright defiance; all characteristics that would help protect my fragile feet from potential dangers (curb stomping, hello?).  But we can't all afford the $169 of such luxuries of lambskin and fully weaponized accessories, so we must close our eyes and pretend.  

Supplies:

• Loafers, I found some for $20 on Amazon, they also come in gold, black, and leopard print!
• 100 Screwback Spikes, I used sizes 3/8 inch for the majority, three 1 inch spikes for the toe
• Drill (drill bits depend on the size of the spikes and the hole needed) 
• Sharpie marker

Step 1) Mark where the holes will be drilled for the spikes with a Sharpie that will stand out on the shoe's surface, I thought that a more sporadic approach would give off that effortless cool factor, AKA it was easier.

Step 2) Drill holes at the places marked, the size of the hole depends on how large of a space the screw needs to fit through without falling out.

Step 3) Poke the spike backing through the underside of the shoe, it will get harder as you get further inside the shoe...

Step 4) Screw in the top part of the small spike and it's easy as pie! (which is actually pretty difficult...)  Continue to fill in the top, sides, and back of the shoe, 33 for the top, 14 for the sides, and 3 in the back heel.  Don't forget about the 6 deadly one-inchers...

I made you a fancy diagram to further explain the spike placing, yes, your welcome.

And three hours and ten sore fingers later, you have a pair of flats that are as vicious as you are!  We hopefully made UNIF proud :)

Maybe It's Just A Phase....

Or not.  Take a gander at my latest endeavor, a photo shoot in a broken down, crack head, homeless inhabiting, once-industrial area.  My parents would be so proud to know that this is what I'm really up to while at school.  Math class?  Pshhhh, more like making vests with 2-inch spikes emanating from the shoulders.  Put in your order now for a black, white, chain, and dangerous spike vest, all the kids are wearing them these days.

When you wear stuff like this, you eat nails for breakfast.  NOM NOM.

I AM WOMAN!

Do I dare?

Yes.

Why Are Most Of My Posts So Dangerous?

Here's another DIY I stole off of a great and equally sarcastic blog (finally, someone understands me!), but hopefully Morgan vs. Morgan won't mind too much as long as I give her full credit, of course.  Since EVERYONE and their grandmother, sister's cousin, and Uncle Joe has the iPhone, we might as well accessorize it.  And yeah, you could go the conservative route with a super cute color or maybe one with a puppy on it, but let's be real, we don't do that here.  I've seen some pretty crazy cases, but none of these really suited my highly sophisticated taste:

What? I can't hear you.

Aw it has ears.  Just like you.

I had an AWESOME wood case kind of like this one until we tearfully parted one fateful Saturday night when I ended up holding only splinters...

Sushi iPhone....NOM NOM

 Try again, this time something more dangerous, ridiculous, obscene, horrifying, mind blowing....etc.  May the crowd please welcome the newest development to the iPhone, hold your applause....THE MEAT TENDERIZER...err Spiked Phone case! And a great replacement for mace and pepper spray.

Here is what you need:

• A silicone case fit for your generation of iPhone (mine is the 4, but no Siri, sad day)
• 11 crazy 3/4" metal spikes with screw backs 
• Electrical Tape
• Needle or sharp point, I used a seam ripper, I guess that says a lot about what I do in my free time if that is what was most available...

Step 1) Plan out where you want to put the spikes, I used eleven of them.

I then marked with a marker on the inside where exactly I was going to put the screws through.

Step 2) Poke a small hole as marked with your desired tool.

Step 3) Push the screw in, it can be a tad difficult but thats probably the point of a puncture free case made of silicone.

Step 4) After the screw backing has been pushed in, screw on the top half of the stud, don't do it too tight or the silicone will raise up around that spot and not fit as well to your actual phone.

Step 5) Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat....yeah you get it.  Eleven whole times.

Step 6) Then if you don't live in a college dorm room, electrical tape is probably more accessible for you.  But in my case, I used some fancy artists tape to line the inside to prevent the backings from scratching my precious iPhone.

And you are finished! Looks pretty normal from the front right?

NOT! Yeah, I really fooled you!!

So I should probably warn you that this could POTENTIALLY be seen as a weapon.  Take a look at Morgan's page to check out some of her tips to staying safe.

Aw, its like a little animal now with legs! Your iPhone, now your trusty best friend.  And cheaper than a German Sheppard. 

Go forth and conquer with your strange new device, get ready for some awkward stares.  But don't worry, I embrace them.