Let's Get Some Kool Aid Hurr

I blame Pinterest for planting this ridiculous idea into my head.  For some reason it seems like a good idea to trade my fairly normal (black ombre fading to blonde/unintentional orange) hair for something resembling light bright, or my little pony.  Let's stick out like even more of a sore thumb, we already have nail rings, weaponry as a phone case, and jackets made from rugs.  Hopefully I won't end up bald, normal hair is probably better than no hair.  

Now for a video that I hold near and dear to my heart...

If you are classy, you'll most likely home dye your pink hair in your kitchen sink.

Love these two colors together! 

Your eyebrows look ridonkulous, how long do they take you to paint on every morning?

Damn girl, your head is brighter than a flare in the middle of the ocean...

Neon Green, its so perfectly unnatural...

Oh look, men can do it too! I'm pretty jealous of how simple this would be for them while having such short hair, it must be so ridiculously EASY to be a dude.  This is my version of menswear, so any smart guys reading, get on this...I'll probably date you if your hair is this color, just sayin'.

So everyone gives all the glory to the celebs for starting all these crazy "trends" but that is giving them way too much credit.  Lets not wait that long, its definitely not as cool when it becomes that mainstream...

 Wow, this is probably the most subdued I've ever seen Lady Gaga.

I've used Manic Panic hair coloring in the past but what I found was only semi-permanent, not good.  It made my badass purple turn to a throw-uppy (yeah thats a word) lavender faster than you can close your eyes to blink.  I'm hoping to attempt a ridiculously florescent green, and hopefully won't go bald in the process.  Any suggestions on technique or product???  

I also found this, a pretty decent instructional video on how to get some crazy ass hair.  I can't wait to try his....erm...her techniques and products, well, "this person" recommends Special Effects hair dye.  Yeah this kinda creeped me out too.

CAUTION: Construction Ahead

This is most likely my craziest MIB yet, and not sure how many people could would want to replicate it.  After taking the unlikeliest materials and combining them, I'm sure we have a winner.  Hope your sewing machine can handle this cause I almost left mine in pieces after this little project.  Cross something that is meant to go under your feet with a garment used for safety patrol and you have.....actually I don't really know what you have.  We got texture.  We got neon.  We got something that will keep you fairly warm in the winter.  What else could you want?  Here is some inspiration and justification for my rash actions.  I mean if Christian Siriano can do it, why can't i?

Christian Siriano Spring 2012 RTW
Images via style.com

You will need:

• Any old rug, mine had some sweet hooked loops in it

• A reflective vest, not surprised they only sold this at Hick Fleet Farm

• Material to add to the vest, make it thick enough to add some weight 
• Black vinyl or any heavy material for the cutouts (about 1/2 yard or so)
• Black dye
• Bucket for dyeing 
• Sleeve pattern

I began by dying this thrifted rug black, guess I wasn't really feeling that washed out, baby blue color.
When dyeing any fabric, use warm/hot water and add a little salt and laundry detergent.  Let it soak for a good couple of hours and then try your patience by waiting for it to dry (it takes FOREVER for a rug to dry...)

Once you have achieved your desired color, get any pattern of a sleeve that fits you and pin it onto the rug.  I originally wanted to make the whole jacket out of the rug until I realized I only had enough for well...two sleeves.

Cut out the pattern and sew together the pieces (yours may look different based on what kind of sleeve pattern you use, you can find a single piece or use one with an upper and underarm).  This is one of the hardest parts other than actually sewing it so I have some tips, since the material is RIDICULOUSLY thick, trim some of the textured pieces near the seam allowances.  This will make it easier to sew with less bulk.

After completing the sleeves I moved on to the actual vest, first lining to add stiffness to support them heavy sleeves.  For the lining I used some beautiful, tablecloth-like, yellow material.   

I cut the vest into pieces so the lining would be easier to directly sew onto each piece instead of trying to guess the size of each piece only by looking at it already sewn together....if that makes any sense at all.  AKA, cut the pieces of the vest up, it's easier.

Pin it.  Sew it together.  You know the drill.

I then added some black panels on the sides to stray away from the rugged, construction look and go for a more intentional color block kind of thing.  Hopefully, it was successful...

And saved you the hardest step for last, sew dem sleeves on the vest!  You will begin by sewing together all the pieces you just cut up and lined (yeah redundant, I know) and sew up the sides to make it actually fit.  Then match the circumference of the sleeve to that of the armhole and sew it, right sides together as usual.

I still haven't decided if this is as ugly as ****, or an accomplishment.  But the moral of the story is that we took a rag, some insanity, and turned it to something new, even if its rather unattractive.  But at least I'll stop traffic.

Perfect For Any D-bag

What is the purpose of a collar?  To shade your neck from sunburn? Give the look of wings coming out from your collar bone? Give the upper body awkward, pointy angles?  None of the above.  Its actually there solely for the look with no actual reason.  So why not turn it into an accessory and layer them upon multiple other collars?  That sounds like some real Jersey Shore tool shit to me.  I think Pauly D needs an extra collar or two to accent that pointy Bart Simpson hairstyle and GTL business.  But watch out for bad tan lines, definitely deadlier than partying all night on the Jersey Shore.

If you are interested in representing your own prepstar/clubbing/Italian bum image here is a little DIY for you to give a go.  Here is your list of supplies:

• Any old shirt with a collar, mine was a nude army shirt from the ever fantastic, thrift store
• Bias tape, I used double folded 1/4" tape, neon green to make that nude POP
• Hook and eye
• The usual (sewing machine, needle and thread, Duh.)

Step 1) Begin by cutting the collar off of the shirt, leaving about an inch from the actual collar.

Step 2) Completely detach the collar from the shirt, well how else were you planning on wearing it as an accessory?

Step 3) Pin on and align the bias tape along all raw edges of the top and bottom of the collar (this includes the parts that will be visible as well as hidden).  I found it helpful to trim off a bit of fabric to get the tape almost exactly along the edge of the actual interfaced collar.

Step 4) Proceed to sew on the bias tape without missing either side of the bias tape, trust me, it's trickier than it looks.  To make it stay on, hand sew a hook and eye to the inner corners where the collar would usually attach to the shirt.

And here is your completed newfangled neck accessory!  If you didn't have a pointless collar on your shirt before, you do now.

Wow Jared, you make that look rather...tasty?

Of course I had to match my neon tights to my new neon collar!

Just noticing that this idea slightly resembles the ideas from my last post...guess I really ran with that one.

This Is How to Break the Rules

Neon and....nude.  I know, it doesn't really make sense.  It's like putting fluorescent paint on a brown paper bag and calling it art.  But for some reason I have to urge to pair such an unlikely duo, it really makes the ugly, plainness of a neutral pop.  Yes I am already wearing a color that blends into my skin, the neon is just there to reassure everyone watching that I'm not solely rocking my birthday suit.  Bring the kleenex for another fashion rule is yet to be abolished, almost as bad as wearing black and blue together....or white after labor day (all rules that which I've broken, someone call the fashion police).  Check out some of the designers who decided this combination was a good idea for Spring 2012...

Jaeger London

J. Crew

J. Mendel

Felipe Oliveira Baptista

Images via style.com

If you want to commit this deadly style crime yourself, here are a few options that would make a great awful pairing...

Clear Jelly Boston Bag, $18.99, Amazon.com

A neon, jelly purse, ahh takes me back to those wonderful jellies you used to put on your feet,

                                  Clear Jelly Satchel Bag, $17.99 at Amazon.com

Burberry Classic Trench $You don't want to know.00

Oh Louis Vuitton, you stole my heart once again.

There you have it, a how to clash in a very expensive way.  And if no one likes it, you didn't hear this from me.