Bedazzle It, It Will Sound Better

The empire state building on my pillow looks like it's emanating from my head, I know.

I have tried every ear bud on the planet and not a single, damn one fits.  I don't know if I have incredibly, anatomically small ear canals or was just not meant to listen to music while on the go (too much multitasking I suppose).  But I decided to rebel against the product designers of sleek, modest earbuds from apple and take a more retro and obnoxious approach.  I began with a fairly cool, sleek (as close to that as you can get, considering the ridiculously large size) pair of headphones.  But apparently, they just weren't cool enough as is.  So I grabbed some craft glue, gems, and went crazy for a couple of hours.  I wanted to do create crazy geometric pattern with the black and white but it ended up rather poinsettia looking.  Well, happy holidays?  

I'm such a rockstar.

And I couldn't resist showing off my newest pair of Docs, and for a fantastic bargain I must say.  I instagrammed those beauties, add a frame and it's a freaking piece of art.  The gallery must be on my feet.

Here's the link if you want to follow in my footsteps...punny.

Scrubbed Into Fashion 2012

What happens when you mix medical scrubs, African tribes, futuristic style, and current trends?

In honor of this charity, Smile Network International

Hopefully it will be fashion, art, or at least not fall apart off of the unfortunate one who gets to be decked out in neon, a throw up of patterns, and accessorized with waay too much jewelry.  Mark your calendars for April 14th because Scrubbed Into Fashion, a fashion show put on by FAB is taking stage (or the runway) and I'm lucky enough to participate!  The show procedes go to the charity, Smile, and this year they are taking it all the way to Africa (hence the top photos, didn't just get that out of nowhere).  I want to combine the amazing, colorful blend of African culture with my own futuristic and modern viewpoint on fashion (that means using materials no one actually should be wearing).  Three looks have to be created; a couture showstopper, ready to wear, and a revised version of the actual scrub outfit.  One of these has to be menswear, that will definitely be interesting... And I especially LOVE that these are made out of scrubs!  Totally goes with the whole theme here...you know that reinventing old shit kinda deal....yup.  So wish me luck and I'll be providing updates until that fateful day!    

Dear Corporate America...

Why would you want to look like this....

When you can be like this? Or this? And don't forget about this...

Wear whatever the hell you want cause you'll either be admired for being bold, or strange as hell for being seen in a neon, paint splattered unitard, but NEVER forgettable.  Win Win.

Burn Your Bra

Fringe ain't just for hippies. Another MIB (more like an actual DIY this time) is coming right at you, an ombre, gold painted, fringe necklace.  Finally, a bold statement necklace to make that outfit even more groovy/ out of sight/ righteous, and slightly resembling hair (an unusual/ disturbing choice for an accessory).

This project is far from difficult, here are the fantastic supplies you will be needing:

• Glue gun
• Around 14 inches of long fringe (choose any color you would like)
• Metallic paint (I used gold and bronze)
• Chain 
• Any trimmings you desire: buttons, ribbon, rope, diamonds, 14k gold, bottle caps, barbie shoes, furbies, licorice, etc. 

Step 1) Measure the chain length as long as you want the necklace to hang.  I made mine a little shorter so the fringe would lay higher on my neck.  Make sure and add a little extra for the option to adjust later.

Step 2) Cut fringe into three lengths: 7, 4, and 3 inches.

Step 3) Layer the fringe pieces on top of the other from the longest length to the shortest.  Center each length when placing on top of the next piece.  This is just to visualize how it will look when completed.

Step 4) Trim fringe so each tier will be more visible but don't cut the longest length, 7 inches.  Trim about half an inch off of the 4 inch piece and one inch off of the 3 inch piece.  I taped down the ends to make it easier to cut.

Step 5) Its time to go HAM with the metallic paint, I painted the 7 inch and 3 inch pieces bronze and the 4 inch piece gold.  Turns out, you can barely tell at all....so if your smart, choose higher contrasting colored paints or just go with the similar colors (I mean, that's what I was going for the whole time...).

Step 6) Put the remaining strip of fringe over your lip to create a comical, Groucho Marx mustache (no, that is not supposed to resemble Hitler, waaay to controversial...).  Ha, full of jokes, I know.

Step 7) After that interlude, continue to glue the pieced onto the chain with your handy dandy glue gun (don't underestimate its power) as directed in step three.  Make sure the pieces are fully dry or else...well they will stick.  I know this seemingly obvious fact from personal experience.  Then from there, you take the reigns.  Bedazzle it, trim it, or decorate that shit however you desire and call it fashion.  Because, it is after all.

If you're feeling ambitious, go ahead and put together a crazy fringe ring (ended up being a better use than for my Hitler-like mustache.  I just glued it to an old button and ring and tah-dah!  Turns out, its incredibly impractical.  So impractical it was further ornamented in my salad dressing at lunch.

The One. The Only. Iris Van Herpen!

Today I have discovered my idol.  My inspiration.  My muse (maybe that's a little too far...).  Anyways, thus designer embodies everything I believe in by using unexpected (and the most impractical) materials to create a futuristic embodiment of fashion and contort the body in indistinguishable ways.  Miss Iris even interned with the holy and Almighty Alexander McQueen.  YOU. HAVE. GOT. TO. BE. KIDDING.  This diva has got it going on, and I will be there in no time, I'm sure... Here is a quote from her website depicting her holy vision for our avant garde clad bodies...

In all my work I try to make clear that fashion is an artistic expression, showing and wearing art, and not just a functional and devoid of content or commercial tool. With my work I intend to show that fashion can certainly have an added value to the world, that it is timeless and that its consumption can be less important than it’s beginning. Wearing clothing can create a very exciting and imperative form of self-expression. ‘Form follows function’ is not a slogan with which I concur. On the contrary, I find that forms complement and change the body and thus the emotion. Movement, so essential to and in the body, is just as important in my work. By bringing form, structure and materials together in a new manner, I try to suggest and realize optimal tension and movement. -Iris Van Herpen

Examples of her work, this one is from the Synesthesia collection, amazingly insect-like.  Maybe it's a form of insight to their under appreciated lives. 


Synesthesia Fall 2010 

Props to this dude, rocking the heels and a leather mini dress complete with a Fresh Prince of Bel air haircut.


Crystallization collection Summer 2011

This water is actually attached to the dress, probably a lot less messy...

Nothing better than resembling a weaved basket.

And saving the best for last...

This poor girl fighting is for her life against her vacuum.  I think she lost.

Sheer Delight

You know, some things should just be left to the imagination.  I may not be the most modest person on this planet, but I certainly know where to draw the line when bordering on an outfit that may be publicly offensive or make the viewer want to burn out their eyes with a blow torch.  But our innocence was not spared Spring 2012, so hide your kids, hide your wives, 'cause they showin' everything this season.  I love me a good sheer when layered appropriately in a fantastic button up or an asymmetrical dress.  Well, I guess those crazy fashion designers had an idea and ran with it, you know what those odd, artist types are like... (I can only say this because I am one).  Here are some examples of the outfits that could have been left to the imagination.  But I'm guessing the attendance of straight males to runway shows rose dramatically this spring season.

Images via style.com

Here are some better examples of what a sheer inspired outfit SHOULD look like...

Jenny Packham

Christian Dior

Show Me Your Shins

Its business in the front, part in the back.  Yes, you know what I am speaking of.  The infamous mullet has made another appearance, this time in a lower region.  No not that!  It's in the hemlines, get your mind out of the gutter...  This new silhouette has been seen all over the runway (I thought I made it up, but I guess not) in the collections of Michael Kors, Bebe, and Emilio Pucci.  Here is my own take on the mullet hem along with a series of vague steps, but don't plan on seeing me with the actual haircut (well, I guess anything is possible...).

Images via style.com

To make this wonky hemlined skirt, you will need:

• 1 yard of chiffon
• 1/4 yard of other fabric for waistband (i used black cotton)
• Skirt hook and eyes 
• sewing machine & thread
• circle skirt pattern (or you can make your own)

I cut out the (one half of the skirt) pattern the given length and the second piece a little longer.  There should be two separate pieces, one long for the back and the short piece for the front.  If you don't have a pattern handy, just cut out a half circle with the diameter slightly bigger than the diameter of your actual waist.  If you know an easier way to explain this, let me know.

Here is the back piece, the lower hem is extended past the original hem.  Sew the two pieces together together at the side seams to make the skirt.  I used a french seam finish for the sides to give a nice finish, here is a tutorial on the art of the fancy (so they think) european technique....  http://www.sewneau.com/how.to/french.seam.html

Hem the edges of the skirt. I rolled the hem under 1/4 inch and then 1/2 inch to hide the raw edges.  Then sew two rows of a basting seam at the top (waist).

This is the part when it might get a little confusing.  To make the waistband, I cut a strip of cotton blended fabric with a width of six inches and a length of your waist (where you want the skirt to fall), plus about three inches (in the length, so for me that would be 6x34 for the waistband dimensions) to allow for seam allowances and the overlapping extension.  Fold the piece in half and sew the edge to form a tube.  Then turn the tube inside out and iron.  I topstitched the band so it would lay nicely.

If the skirt is too big for the waistband, simply gather the two rows of basting done in the previous step.  If the waistband is too long, simply cut that shorter to fit the waist of the skirt.  Then right sides together, stitch the waistband to the actual skirt.

If you actually want to be able to put this skirt on, you'll need to cut a slit in the back.  I cut 4 inches from the top and then turned in the sides and sewed to hide the raw edges.

Here's another view of the completed waistband... If the sewn, cotton waistband is too difficult try using elastic inside the tube/casing.  I didn't because I guess I didn't think about it until...now, actually.

Go ahead and sew on the skirt hook and eyes at the edge of the waistband and where it should meet on the other side in order to stay on securely (you know what I mean, right?). If the rows of basting are still visible, take them out with a seam ripper.  Now, that would be just tacky.

And here is the completed skirt! I layered it over my fantastic metallic (wow, that kind of rhymed!) leggings from the previous Black Milk post, you want it don't you?  I bet you never thought you would say you were lovin' the mullet.

I'm sure there are plenty of easier ways to create this skirt, good luck finding one of them.  Unless I want everyone to get a nice view when the wind blows, I'll layer leggings underneath the sheer skirt.  (Finally, I've discovered a way to layer!)  In the summer, (if that ever arrives) this skirt would make a mean pairing with some lacy bike shorts.  LOVE the way heart and bleeker blogger wears these.  Yum, biker mullet chic, yes please.